When the green-eyed monster of Jealousy rears its ugly head in your relationship, here’s you can handle it…
You have to overcome it.
Sounds simple and it is. But here’s the important bit: this sentiment, “you have to overcome it,” presumes it can be overcome and that IT IS TO BE OVERCOME.
The challenge you face is that you don’t believe you can. After all, you’ve tried before! So you presume, “It MUST be a naturally-occurring, human thing!”
But the truth actually is it’s because you haven’t learned how to do it until now.
So, firstly, you have to understand that while you can’t communicate ‘directly’ with your “emotional core” (the processes in your brain and body that constitutes your “feels”, your emotions), you CAN communicate directly with a process in your brain that does communicate directly to your emotional core…
The process is called your “Ego.”
Your ego is a process inside your brain that was born when you learned language. Just like all language is an “abstraction”… a representation of what goes on in the real world or concepts you can derive or imbue meaning… your ego is one of those abstractions from language, one specifically of YOU.
Your ego is an abstraction of you. It’s a representation of you.
When you talk to yourself, who do you imagine you’re talking to?
But remember, your ego is not you. In fact, your ego doesn’t give a fuck about you. All it gives a fuck about is how *IT’S* perceived! (Because, after all, it’s an ABSTRACTION with, for most people, a very rigid definition of “who IT is”).
Remember that ALL fears you’ve once had you’ve felt the emotions in real time! How do you think you got over them?
That’s right! You got some knowledge. But once you’ve gotten that knowledge, it didn’t immediately relieve your “feels.” It took some time. Your ego, once it appreciated the new information fully, communicated with your emotional core until all came to quorom.
In the same manner, communicate with your ego that jealousy is simply a compounded emotion of 1) Fear of loss, and 2) Rage from feeling that fear of loss!
Once you TRULY appreciate that, it will be SO self-evident, you won’t remember a time you were jealous again.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!