There are 4 levels of significance you have with someone.
✨ This delineation of their “significance” to you clarifies in your mind *how* you ‘build’ relationships.
✨ How I ‘build’ relationships goes through what I refer to as the “Intimacy Model” of relationships.
✨ The Intimacy Model is different from the standard model of relationships where one presumes someone is *either* “partner material” or “friend material” where neither have thresholds that could be crossed. (i.e. you can’t be “friends” with someone whom you’re sexual, vice versa).
✨ Although you don’t recognize it, that’s actually the model you follow. I eschew that model entirely and begin with *everyone begins as friends.* This is the premise of the Intimacy Model of relationships.
Intimacy, being, how well you know the person. That is actually what intimacy is. Therefore, any activity which deepens how well you know them in every way that could be, builds intimacy.
✨ So when I meet someone whom could potentially be significant to me, they begin as friends *always*. In what manner, and how long, we build intimacy is entirely dependent on our dynamic and circumstances, which never needn’t be hurried.
✨ As we build “intimacy,” they will go through these 4 levels of significance:
1️⃣ – Not Significant: this level of significance can occur even after knowing someone for a long time as a “relationship” is how you interact and interface).
2️⃣ – Significant: enough to merit my time and attention.
3️⃣ – Very Significant: so as to be an important relationship in my life whether it be personally, sexually, professionally or all of the combination of that.
4 – Essentially Significant: their happiness and actualization is intrinsic to my own (I want for their happiness the same way I want for mine). This sort of relationship is true love without the bogosity of ownership or jealousy or conditions.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!