Here are the top 3 things people take for granted in relationships… and it’s also important to note that being, and therefore feeling, taken for granted is the death-knell of every loving relationship.
Even more tragic than that is it’s the standard rather than the exception. Overwhelmingly so. It’s endemic, because of this reason:
When you grant yourself to another person in exchange for their granting themselves to you, the inevitable outcome of that, always, is you’ll [both] feel taken for granted.
Because of this, most everyone cannot point out the cause of the majority of their pain and suffering in relationships because you begin with the premise that each person takes the other for granted, which is a funny and tragic irony.
Here are my top 3 things you take for granted in a “taken-as-granted” relationship:
1 – Attention
Rather than each person putting in the effort required to merit the attention of the other or negotiate for it, they just presume it’s given to them and that it “must be interesting” – after all, they hold the “title of beloved.”
2 – Sex
No longer do either partner do the upkeep necessary to be an ‘attractive person’, being arousing, or sexually engaging… they simply presume sex is granted to the other and might even believe it’s mandated.
3 – Love
While at the outset you’ve got tremendous infatuation (the chemically bolstered state your brain drugs you so you could produce offsprings), as a result, you also become more intimate and the relationship increases in intensity, until for many that make the lifelong vow of sexual exclusivity and eternal “love.”
As the infatuation chemicals fade away, the intensity wanes, and the intimacy rises and you become pheromonally familiar where your brain perceives them as “familiar” (family – as in siblings), the chemistry goes away and “love” takes on different forms and definitions.
So it’s absolutely critical you put stops, and protocols in place in your relationship, and reformat it completely to be able to get rid of taking each other for granted. I’ll provide more insight on this on another post.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!