To create wonder-full relationships, you have to build intimacy, but not the intimacy you think.
I define intimacy as how well you know the person. That is, actually, what intimacy is.
Sensuality is a part of it, but as are a lot of other things.
To build intimacy is actually very simple.
Anything you do with that person that increases your appreciation for them and their appreciation for you, builds intimacy (how well you know each other).
Appreciate what they like, what they don’t like, their fears, genuine desires, boundaries, curiosities, fetishes…
After all, there’s nothing more intimacy-building than sharing a wondrously pleasurable activity together, vulnerable and naked.
What are some things that prevent intimacy? That’s very simple too – it’s just not appreciated enough.
Anything that INHIBITS parties in the relationship from sharing and demonstrating themselves as they are, denies intimacy.
Test it out in your mind and discover what things, psychologies, behaviors and mannerisms you may have that inhibit intimacy. I’ll share some that are endemic…
1️⃣ – Not encouraging them to share more of what they think about things
2️⃣ – Instead of listening and giving them a platform to share their thoughts, you talk about you, and what you think, or worse, try to fix it without their asking
3️⃣ – Having a closed relationship where they couldn’t possibly tell you how yummy and attractive that one guy or girl was they saw
4 – Insisting on them the person you imagine you’d like them to be rather than accepting they’re entirely their own individual with their own radically different philosophies and preferences
5 – Pretending to be the person you imagine they’d like you to be so you create for yourself a hole for which has no escape
✨ In essence, open your relationship so you can have real and genuine intimacy, where you get to know them for who they truly are – but you go first!
✨ Facilitate open and nonjudgmental communication so each party is encouraged to simply be themselves.
✨ Facilitate a platform for them to be able to share anything by ENCOURAGING them to speak more about their thoughts without interrupting it with yours.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!